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The death of a parent or an immediate family member to suicide is traumatic for an adult, and the experience can be intensified for a child. Feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, and even relief are common and often more intense in children grieving a family member who died by suicide. The trauma is often intensified by stigma, family disruption, instability, and the struggle to understand both the cause and finality of suicide. As such, suicide‑bereaved children are more likely to experience anxiety, depression, behavioural issues, and social adjustment difficulties compared to children whose parents died from other causes.

An important consideration when supporting children is their ability to comprehend the death of their loved one. A child's ability to fully understand the concept and finality of death is shaped by age, verbal ability, and cognitive development. Studies suggest that children under age 7 tend to view death as reversible, and that children begin to understand the concept of death as permanent somewhere between 7 and 12 years of age. (Mitchell, et al., 2006)

Each child's grief is unique, and their reactions will vary depending on their age, personality, their relationship with the person who died, their 'grieving style', and the support they receive. Like adults, children and adolescents experience grief as a journey.

If you would like more information about common behavioural and emotional expressions of grief by children and teens through their developmental stages, the following resources may be helpful:

How children might show their grief

Children grieve differently than adults, and their reactions change as they grow. You might notice that they:

There will be okay days and hard days where their grief feels fresh and raw. These ebbs and flows are normal and to be expected.

Provide realistic, honest explanations of the death, tailored to the child's developmental level.

Use the word "suicide" clearly and matter-of-factly, avoiding secrecy or euphemisms that can confuse the child or deepen shame.

Avoid phrases like "went away" or "went to sleep," which may lead children to believe the parent will return or wake up, or that it is dangerous to go to sleep.

Encourage open conversation and repeated questions; children often revisit the death as their understanding and language skills grow.

Reassure children that the deceased loved one is no longer in pain or distress, easing fears that the parent suffers somewhere

Offer consistent reassurance of safety and care—children need to know who will look after them emotionally and physically.

Explain what grief is and that there is no right or single way to feel or grieve.

Explain the range of feelings, emotional/psychological and physical, and social changes a child may experience.

Encourage children to name and express emotions—sadness, anger, fear, guilt, or shame—without judgment.

Create opportunities for symbolic expression (drawing, storytelling, memory rituals) to support emotional processing.

Maintain ongoing availability for conversations as understanding deepens over time; grief re-emerges at later developmental stages.

Help children stay connected to caring adults and peers; open family dialogue mitigates shame and stigma.

Advise the school of the death. When your child returns to school, talk with the teacher and school counsellor about likely grief reactions and behaviours and how they might support your child. Discuss how they can approach potential problems (such as making gifts for Mother's or Father's Day). Ask them to let you know how your child is managing.

Keep your loved one’s memory alive in a way that feels safe and honest for your child. This can include good, sad, bad, or confusing memories.

Share and encourage the child to share memories, experiences, and stories of their lost loved one, including moments that were upsetting or mixed, if the child wants to talk about them.

Talk about how they looked, what they wore, or how they moved, and invite your child to share both what they liked and what they found hard about their relationship with the person who died.

Display photos and personal items that feel right for you and your child.

Create emotional safety at home by inviting gentle conversations about school, listening without judgment, and validating that what is happening is not fair and not their fault.​

Help your child name what is happening as bullying and stigma, not a reflection of their worth; gently correct shaming language about suicide and offer simple, honest wording like "my dad died by suicide" if they choose to share.​

With your child's consent, where possible, inform key adults (teacher, principal, counsellor, coach) about the death and the bullying, and ask how they will monitor and respond under the school's anti-bullying policy.​

Collaborate on practical supports such as a safe person or place to go, check-ins during the day, buddy systems, and, where appropriate, wider grief and empathy education to reduce stigma among classmates.​

Encourage connections beyond school, such as peer support or grief groups, community or cultural organizations, faith communities (if relevant), and sports or interest-based activities where the child feels accepted.​

Let your child help choose which supports feel comfortable (for example, whether to join a group, see a counsellor, or have a trusted adult at school), which can restore some control at a time when so much feels out of control.​

Support everyday coping: routines, rest, movement, play, and creative outlets (drawing, writing, memory boxes, music) can help children express grief and manage the stress of bullying.​

Watch for signs that extra help is needed—such as talk of self-harm, significant behaviour changes, persistent withdrawal, or ongoing bullying—and consider involving a child and youth mental health clinician or bereavement service for additional support.