Toolkit

For Families and Loved Ones Navigating a Suicide Loss

Practical Matters

What to Expect Immediately After a Suicide

This section is for the very early days. It focuses on practical steps and common experiences in the hours, days, and first few weeks after a suicide. If your loss happened some time ago, you may still find pieces of this section helpful, but you might also wish to begin with the chapters on grief over time and long-term support.​

You may find it helpful to use the First Week Practical Checklist (see Appendix C) to track tasks in the first days and week after the death.

Contact with police, coroners, and medical services

When a death is unexpected or appears to be the result of suicide, authorities are usually required to investigate. This can involve police, coroners or medical examiners, paramedics, and sometimes other emergency responders. They may ask difficult questions at a time when you feel least able to answer them.

You may be asked to provide information about your loved one's recent behaviour, mental health, relationships, or medications. You might be asked to identify the body, either in person or by confirming a description. These processes are routine and are not meant to blame you or your family. It is okay to say when you do not know the answer to a question, to ask for things to be repeated, or to request that someone you trust be with you if possible.

Seeing or not seeing your loved one

Depending on the circumstances, you may or may not have the option to see your loved one's body in the early period after the death. Some people feel a strong need to see the person in order to begin to accept that they have died. Others prefer not to see the body or want more time before making that decision. Both responses are valid.

If viewing is possible, you can ask professionals what to expect beforehand so you are not caught off guard by medical equipment, injuries, or other changes in your loved one's appearance. If it is not possible or recommended that you see the body, you may wish to create another meaningful way to say goodbye, such as spending time in a favourite place, writing a letter, or holding a small private ritual.

Notifying family, friends, work, and community

Another painful task in the early days is deciding who to tell, what to say, and when to say it. You may feel torn between wanting people to know and dreading the conversations. Some people choose to share only basic facts at first, especially if official findings are not yet confirmed or if they want more time to decide how much detail to disclose.

You can keep your initial message simple: for example, "I'm letting you know that [name] died suddenly. We are heartbroken and still gathering information. I'll share more when I can." Over time, you may choose to say that your loved one died by suicide if and when it feels right for you. You do not owe anyone details. You can decide what to share, with whom, and when.

For more information on safe messaging and talking to others about suicide, please see the following resources: 

Handling media inquiries

When a loved one dies by suicide, media interest can sometimes feel overwhelming or intrusive. It's understandable to want privacy while grieving and gathering strength. These suggestions, adapted from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, may help your family manage media attention while safeguarding your well-being and privacy.

Planning a Memorial or Funeral Service

In the midst of intense grief and shock, you may be asked to make practical decisions about funeral homes, burial or cremation, and how to honour your loved one's memory. These choices can feel overwhelming when you are still processing what has happened. Whenever possible, allow yourself to slow down. If you can, ask a trusted family member or friend to help gather information, make phone calls, or attend meetings with you. Their support can help ease the burden of decision-making during this difficult time.

When planning the service, consider what would have mattered to your loved one and what feels manageable for you and your family right now. Some people find comfort in keeping arrangements simple and private; others choose to hold a larger ceremony or celebration of life. There is no "right" way to honour a person—what matters most is that it feels meaningful and safe for those who attend. It's also okay to hold small or symbolic gatherings later, once there is more emotional space.

Be open and transparent with your funeral director and celebrant about the nature of the loss. Honest communication helps them guide you in creating a ceremony that supports attendees and minimizes potential triggers.

For practical information about service types, costs, and financial assistance, these provincial and Canadian resources may help:

Dealing with Personal, Legal, and Financial Issues

In the days and weeks following a suicide loss, it's common to feel unsure where to start. Everyday tasks and practical details can feel overwhelming while you are still in shock. Give yourself permission to move slowly and accept help from people you trust—family, friends, or community and grief professionals. Having someone accompany you to appointments or help with immediate arrangements can make these first steps more manageable. There is no timetable for coping with loss, and it's okay to take time before facing decisions that don't require immediate action.

If you're responsible for children, youth, or dependents, their needs may add another layer of concern. Young people especially need reassurance and support to make sense of what has happened. You don't have to do this alone—call on trusted family or friends to help be there for your children. Remember, specialized resources and grief guides for children and families can help, such as the Supporting Children and Youth to Grieve After a Suicide Loss Toolkit.

Above all, take care of your own well-being. When paperwork, phone calls, or daily demands feel too heavy, ask others to step in and share the load. Focusing on small, manageable steps and caring for your mental health are essential parts of beginning to heal.